The Red Cap Rises: A Folkloric Theory on Donald Trump

What’s a Red Cap?

For centuries, the Scottish Borders have whispered tales of a creature so vile, so persistent, it could only be born of blood and ruin. The Red Cap—a goblin-like spirit with a thirst for violence and a hat soaked in crimson—has long haunted the ruins of ancient castles. But what if I told you this creature didn’t stay buried in legend? What if it found a new host… in the modern world? Let’s talk about Donald Trump.

The Trump Connection 

Now, I’m not saying Donald Trump is a Red Cap. But folklore has a funny way of echoing through time. Let’s look at the signs:

• Unnatural Coloring: Red Caps are known for their eerie skin tones. Trump’s famously orange complexion has become a cultural meme. Coincidence—or camouflage?

• The Red Hat: MAGA caps. Bright red. Worn with cult-like devotion. Need I say more?

• Ruins as Home: Red Caps live in crumbling castles. Trump’s business empire has faced bankruptcies, lawsuits, and reputational collapse. The ruins may be metaphorical, but they’re real.

• Scottish Origins: Red Caps hail from the Scottish Borders. Trump owns a golf course in Aberdeenshire. Perhaps the spirit was awakened—or summoned—on sacred soil.

• Hostility Toward Travelers: Red Caps attack wanderers. Trump’s rhetoric against immigrants and minorities mirrors this aggression.

• Stone Throwing: Red Caps hurl stones. Trump throws verbal ones—insults, accusations, tweets that sting like hexes.

How to Get Rid of a Red Cap

Folklore says brute strength won’t work. You need scripture, sacred symbols, or a crucifix. In today’s world, maybe that means truth. Maybe it means accountability. Maybe it’s the collective will to confront the shadow and call it by name.

When banished, the Red Cap vanishes in fire, leaving behind a tooth. A final tweet, perhaps? A lingering soundbite? A relic of chaos?

Conclusion

This is, of course, a fictional theory. A folkloric lens through which to view a controversial figure. But myths endure because they speak to something deeper—our fears, our archetypes, our need to name the monsters among us.

So next time you see a red cap bobbing through a crowd, ask yourself: is it just a hat… or the mark of something older, darker, and far more spectral?

Stay vigilant. And keep your crucifix close.

Carolina "I did NOT commit suicide" Dean