This Boise Life

 

Keanu Reeves and River Phoenix in My Own Private Idaho (1991) 

My Own Private Idaho is a 1991 film written and directed by Gus Van Sant. The story follows Mike Waters (Phoenix) and Scott Favor (Reeves) as they navigate their lives as male sex workers over the course of several months. For Mike, hustling is both a necessity in order to survive on the streets as well as a means to finance his search for his mother.  Although it is never explicitly stated, Mike is clearly gay and lives a lonely life. His search for his mother represents his desire for a connection, for a home, and a family. 

On the other hand, Scott is the son of the mayor of Portland, Oregon who "only has sex with men for money" and who claims that he will inherit a fortune on his 21st birthday and retire from hustling. He comes from a place of privilege and his hustling seems to be more about rebelling against his family and hurting his father. 

Their journey of personal discovery takes them from Seattle, to Idaho (Mike's hometown), Portland, and even Rome. 

This film is one that is difficult for me to watch, even today. I was just 17 when this movie premiered in the September of 1991 and struggling with coming out to my family and friends, so I was close in age to the characters in this film and lived with the fear of being thrown out on the streets for being gay. One reason this film is so difficult for me to watch is due to a scene about the middle of the film. It takes place between Mike and Scott late at night under a full moon as they sit by a fire. 

a fireside chat between friends

Mike: I’d like to talk with you. I mean I’d like to really talk with you. We’re talking right now, but, you know… I don’t know. I don’t feel like I can be close to you. I mean we’re close. Right now we’re close… but, I mean…

Scott: How close?

Mike: I don’t know… whatever. 

Scott: What?

Mike: What do I mean to you? 

Scott: What do you mean to me? Mike you’re my best friend.

Mike: I know. I know I’m your friend. We’re good friends, and it’s good to be, you know, good friends. That’s a good thing. 

Scott: So? 

Mike: So, I just… that’s okay. We can be friends. 

Scott: I’d only have sex with a guy for money. 

Mike: Yeah, I know. 

Scott: And two guys can’t love each other. 

Mike: Yeah, well, I don’t know. I mean, for me, I could love someone even if I, you know, wasn’t paid for it. I love you and you don’t pay me. 

Scott: Mike…

Mike: I really wanna kiss you man.  

This whole scene was beyond heartbreaking. Mike allowed himself to be vulnerable and express his feelings only to be rejected. This is a situation that I am sure many of us have found ourselves in and unfortunately one that I found myself in only a few years later. It hurt me and I let that hurt fester inside me for a very long time. In truth, it still affects me 30 years later as it is very difficult for me to allow myself to be vulnerable with not only potential lovers but people in general.  As a community we like to think that we've come a long way since the 1990's but in today's hook up culture I find myself asking "can two men [really] love one another"? 

- Carolina Dean 

Being and Bosom Buddies

 

Peter Scolari and Tom Hanks star in Bosom Buddies on ABC 

In an earlier entry in this blog series, I wrote about Jack Tripper of Three's Company (1977). Jack was a heterosexual man who had to pretend to be gay in order to share an apartment with two women in Santa Monica in the mid to late 1970's.  Today I would like to share with you the story of Henry and Kip -  two heterosexual men living in New York City in the 1980's, who had to pretend to be women in order to have affordable housing. 

Bosom Buddies aired on ABC from March 1980 to November 1982 lasting just two seasons. It was a sitcom in the buddy comedy genre that starred Tom Hanks as Kip Wilson (Buffy) and Peter Scolari as Henry Desmond (Hildegard). Kip and Henry worked at an advertising agency as a graphic artists and a copywriter respectively. In the pilot episode, their apartment is demolished (while they slept) and they are left with no other choice but to dress as women in order to rent an apartment at the Susan B. Anthony Hotel - a cheap apartment building exclusively for women. In addition to allowing them to have a place to live, the men also thought that the experience would make a great book. 

A typical episode revolves around the men navigating both their personal and professional lives while maintaining their secret. In the second season, the men open their own advertising agency and most of the principle characters discover that the women are actually men and so the drag elements of Bosom Buddies was downplayed. 

I vividly recall being a child playing Pong on a little black and white tv while my parents watched an episode of Bosom Buddies on the larger family tv in the living room. Even as a six year old I thought it far stranger that men were not allowed to live in the same building as women. However, having since done some research I learned that this was actually a very common practice from the 1920s to the 1970's as a mean by society to protect a woman's virtue (i.e. control them). In the early days of these "Women's Hotels", there were strict rules that residents had to follow which included mandatory prayer and bans on male visitors. 

Interestingly, the show never did a gay episode and the men's sexuality was never questioned. However, in the 11th episode of season one Henry and Kip (dressed as women) prevent a robbery and end up on tv. Henry's mother having seen the news clip recognizes her son and comes for a visit prompting Henry to have to explain to his mother why he is dressing as a woman. The conversation between Henry and his mother plays out much like a coming out experience with mother and child learning that it doesn't matter what other people think or if they don't understand your decisions. A sentiment which echoes the show's theme song (see link below) "My Life" by Billy Joel. 

Links 

• The Hidden History of NYC's Women Only Hotels 
• Bosom Buddies Opening Theme

Profiles in Courage: Beverly Lasalle

 

Beverly Lasalle was a female impersonator / entertainer, played by Lori Shannon (1938-1984) who appeared on three episodes of the controversial 1970's era sitcom All in the Family. They were 

• Archie the Hero 
• Beverly Rides Again 
• Edith's Crisis of Faith, Part 1  

In her first appearance (Archie the Hero) Beverly passes out while a passenger in Archie's cab. Archie's performs CPR on Beverly to save her life and the incident is subsequently picked up by the media. Archie is humiliated when it is revealed that Beverly is actually a man in drag. Sympathetic to Archie's feelings and not wanting him to suffer any public humiliation, Beverly explains that Archie did not give her CPR. 

Beverly returns to the Bunker household a year later to celebrate Archie's "kiss of life" and invites Archie and Edith out to dinner. At first Archie resists but then he sees the opportunity to get revenge on his friend Pinky who is known for his practical jokes. Archie intends to set Pinky up with Beverly and then reveal that he is a man. However, Archie is unaware that Pinky knows that Beverly is a man which ruins the prank. Archie ultimately gets his revenge at the end of the episode when Pink's girlfriend shows up and catches him on a "date" with a man. 

In her final appearance on All in the Family, Beverly (dressed as a man) visits the Bunkers to let them know that she will be playing a show at Carnegie Hall after Christmas. Mike, Archie's son-in-law, offers to walk Beverly to a cab as he is on the way to buy a new star for the Bunker's Christmas tree. However, on the street Mike and Beverly are mistaken for a gay couple and are attacked by muggers. Beverly positions herself in between the attackers and Mike taking the burnt of the attack. She is beaten with a lead pipe that ultimately results in her death and Mike escaping with minor injuries. 

As a result of Beverly's senseless death, Edith experiences a crisis of faith and stops attending church. By the end of the following episode Edith comes to terms with Beverly's death and is grateful for having known her. 

- Carolina Dean 

Ode to Billy Joe

 

"It was the third of June another sleepy, dusty, delta day...." 

Ode to Billy Joe was a song written and performed by Bobbie Gentry in 1967. It tells the story of a young woman (the narrator) who unexpectedly learns that a local boy she knows named Billy Joe McAllister has committed suicide by jumping off the Tallahatchie Bridge. The haunting lyrics tells the story as a series of actions devoid of emotion but does not explain why Billy Joe killed himself  nor does it explain the nature of the narrator's relationship with him. However, the song hints that the two young people share a secret in that they were seen throwing something off the bridge prior to Billy Joe's suicide. Exactly what they threw off the bridge has been left open to interpretation, however, some folks speculate Billy Joe got the girl pregnant and they threw the pre-mature baby off the bridge. 

In 1976 Ode to Billy Joe was made into a film starring Robby Benson and directed by Max Baer Jr (Jethro Bodine from the Beverly Hillbillies). The movie is set in 1953 and tells the story from the perspective of a 15 year old young woman now named Bobbie Lee Hartley. The film clearly shows an attraction between Billy Joe and Bobbie Lee. They wanted to get married but Bobbie Lee's father felt that she was too young. However, there are other obstacles in that we learn that Billy Joe was sexually abuse by his older brother and due to this abuse he became sexually confused. In one instance, he is coerced into seeing a prostitute but is unable to go through with the act. When Bobby Lee offers herself to him sexually and romantically, Billy Joe admits that he has had sex with a man and even though he was drunk and knew it was wrong, he still wanted to do it and in addition he carries the weight of shame over his homosexual experiences. At this point, as in the tie in novel of the same name, Bobbie Lee throws her rag doll off the bridge which some believe represents the last of her childlike innocence thus becoming a mature adult. 

With many people believing that Billy Joe killed himself because he has gotten Bobbie Lee pregnant. she is encouraged to leave town and quietly get an abortion. Rather than tell the truth that she and Billy Joe never had sex, she decided to leave town and let people believe what they will. On her way to meet her bus, Bobbie Lee is met by Dewey Barksdale who was Billy Joe's boss at the saw mill. He was also the man that Billy Joe had sex with. Dewey offers to go back to town and tell everyone the truth, however, Bobbie Lee advises him to keep his story to himself as it would further tarnish Billy Joe's reputation and also ruin Dewey's life as it would leave him open to criminal prosecution. The film ends with Barksdale agreeing to keep his secret and offering Bobbie Lee a ride to the bus station to which she agrees. 

I think that Billy Joe's story is important because it tells us about the dangers of sexual shame, guilt, homophobia, and gossip, as well as the importance of representation and having allies in our community.  I identified with Billy Joe in that I grew up and came of age in a small town in the South. The only other gay people I knew was an old man (formed teacher) who was said to have gotten another man drunk and "corn holed" him. The other gay man I knew of was a morbidly obese ex janitor at my elementary school who had a reputation for providing vulnerable young men with drugs in exchange for sex. 

I didn't want to have anything to do with either of these men, nor did I want to be anything like them. I carried a lot of shame around my sexual wants and desires and even considered suicide at one point in my life before I found my confidence and decided to live my life openly. However, that did not happen overnight. It was a long process of self acceptance and finding other people like me and other people who understood me. In another time (and place) Billy Joe would have seen other people like himself, he would have had other men like himself and understanding friends to talk to about his feelings and experiences. He would have had the opportunity to realize that his feelings and desires were normal and valid for him. 

Even though Billy Joe is a fictional character, he represents a sad segment of our community. Those young men (and women) driven to suicide by bullying, harassment, and the weight of self-hate engendered in them by those who cannot and will not understand or tolerate them. Ode to Billy Joe took place in 1953 and 70 years later the culture of LGBTQ+ hate and intolerance is still going strong in the Trump/DeSantis era and one which we must continue to fight to overcome to prevent future loss of life, happiness, and freedom. 

- Carolina Dean 

Pride Month 2023

In 2022, I wrote and published a series of articles for Pride Month. Pride Month is celebrated each year during the month of June in honor of those who fought for LGBTQ+ rights beginning with the Stonewall Riots in 1969. Below you will find a list of those articles all in one place. 

• My Best Advice for Gay Youth
• WLGBT in Cincinnati
• Samantha Has Two Dicks!
• Are You Being Served (Shade)?
• Reflections on Rocky Horror 
• Crow Man & Star Man a Love Story
• Torch Song Trilogy
• Wicca: A Gay Perspective
• One Lie to Live
• Normal Is that You?
• Thoughts on Three's Company
• Hot Take on Hedwig

- Carolina Dean