Normal, is that You ?

 Note: This free article is a part of my ongoing series of content in celebration of Pride Month. Pride Month is celebrated each year during the month of June in honor of those who fought for LGBTQ+ rights beginning with the Stonewall Riots in 1969.

Synopsis - Norman is that You ?

Tucson dry cleaner Ben Chambers (Red Foxx) discovers that his wife Beatrice (Pearl Baily) has run off to Mexico with his brother. He travels to Los Angeles to unburden himself on his son, Norman (Michael Warren) only to find his All-American son's homosexual lover Garson (Dennis Dugan). As he tries to cope with the loss of his wife, Ben attempts to understand his son's orientation. 

Commentary 

I think I saw Norman is that You? in the late 80's or early 90's when it aired very late at night on TBS. Being gay myself, but not yet having come out, I was very excited to see this movie. There're weren't a lot of movies and tv shows about homosexuality at the time and I was both curious and eager to see this film. 

While it was panned by critics, I actually liked Norman. Although he had difficulty with it at first, I was actually surprised that Ben took finding out his son was gay so well. He didn't get violent with Norman (although he did choke Garson), he didn't threaten to kick him out of the family. Yes, he was upset - but he tried to understand. Norman's mother was also very supportive and open-minded about Norman's relationship. 

Typical of the time, the film portrayed Norman and Garcon's relationship through the lens of the heteronormative experience. Norman is portrayed outwardly as "normal", that is , he is young, athletic, and masculine -what we would call straight-acting today. In one scene Ben tests Norman by observing his walk and asking him to say Mississippi (to see if he has a lisp). When Norman passes all the tests, Ben is adamant that Norman cannot be gay. By contrast Garson is everything people expected a homosexual to be at the time (and even today) - that is, the stereotypical limp-wristed, swishy, campy, and effeminate homosexual. 

While I am sure that there are plenty of gay couples out there who fit into this category with one partner clearly designated  as the man and another as the woman (yeah we know it's not really like that, Garson could be a Fem-Top); there are also plenty of gay couples in which these roles are less defined, more fluid, and in some cases non-existent. This was a relationship conceived by heterosexual writers who didn't know better and who possibly thought that Middle America would be more likely to accept. 

That being said, what we find distasteful or even possibly offensive is actually normal for the individuals concerned. Garson showed himself to be a very cheerful, happy and loving person who was comfortable in his own skin and Norman obviously saw something in Garson that he liked. We are not so far removed from the 1970's in our attitudes about masculinity and the toxicity of what it means to be a man. We live in a world where feminine men are seen as less than other men, or as having no value. As an ever so slightly effeminate homosexual myself, this movie helped me believe that just because I don't fit into the idea of what it means to be a man , I still have value and someone could love me just as I am. In my own search for self-acceptance, I look in the mirror and ask myself "Normal, is that you?" to which I proudly reply "Yaaaas, bitch! "

- Carolina Dean