Sunday, March 24, 2024

Full Libra Moon (2024)

 
Full Libra Moon


The Libra Full Moon: Finding Balance Between Me and We

The upcoming Libra Full Moon casts a spotlight on the delicate dance between our individual desires and the needs of our relationships. It's a time of reckoning, a moment to assess the scales of our connections and see if they are balanced. This lunar event ushers in a period of introspection. We're called upon to ask ourselves: Are we truly fulfilled by the bonds we've built? Are our needs being met in a way that fosters mutual growth and happiness? This isn't about selfishness, but about self-awareness. A healthy relationship allows space for both individual journeys and a shared path.
If the scales are tipped unevenly, the Libra Full Moon empowers us to take action. For some, this might involve setting healthy boundaries. Perhaps we've been people-pleasers, neglecting our own needs to maintain harmony. This lunation encourages us to prioritize self-care, saying no when necessary, and expressing our desires openly. However, the answer doesn't always lie in separation. The energy of Libra is also about compromise and collaboration. Can we find a way to adjust the dynamic, working together to create a more fulfilling connection? Open communication and a willingness to meet each other halfway are key.
Ultimately, the Libra Full Moon encourages us to cultivate authentic connections. We're drawn towards relationships built on genuine respect, empathy, and mutual support. This might involve letting go of superficial bonds that no longer serve us and nurturing the ones that bring out our best selves. It's also a time to celebrate healthy partnerships, those beautiful collaborations where "me" and "we" exist in perfect harmony.
By embracing introspection, setting boundaries, and prioritizing healthy connections, we can leverage the energy of the Libra Full Moon to create a life filled with balanced and fulfilling relationships.

Full Moon in the 12th House

When the radiant fullness of the Moon lands in the mysterious 12th house, it stirs the potent energies of our subconscious. This is a powerful transit, a time for deep introspection and emotional processing that can feel both introspective and transformative.

  • Inner Reflection Takes Center Stage: The 12th house is associated with dreams, intuition, and the hidden aspects of ourselves. Under this Full Moon, a veil is lifted, allowing us to confront buried emotions, past hurts, and limiting beliefs. It's a time for shadow work, for gently confronting the parts of ourselves we may have kept hidden. Journaling, meditation, or dream analysis can be powerful tools during this introspective period.
  • Letting Go and Releasing: The 12th house also governs endings and letting go. This Full Moon might stir feelings of closure or a sense of needing to release something that no longer serves us. It could be a toxic relationship, a negative habit, or even a limiting self-belief. By acknowledging and releasing these burdens, we create space for new beginnings and emotional growth.
  • Compassion and Forgiveness: The emotional intensity of this transit can also bring a surge of empathy and compassion. We may feel a heightened sensitivity to the emotions of others, or a renewed desire to forgive past hurts, both for ourselves and for others. This can be a powerful time for healing and reconciliation.
  • Seeking Solitude and Self-Care: The energy of the 12th house is introspective and can be draining. During this Full Moon, it's important to listen to your intuition and prioritize rest and relaxation. Seek solitude in nature, indulge in a creative outlet, or simply take a quiet evening for yourself. Self-care is essential for navigating the emotional depths stirred by this transit.
  • Harnessing the Power of Intuition:While logic may take a backseat under this Full Moon, our intuition is amplified. Pay attention to your dreams, gut feelings, and sudden insights. They may hold valuable messages or nudges in the right direction.

The Full Moon in the 12th house is a potent time for emotional release, self-discovery, and spiritual growth. By embracing introspection, self-care, and the wisdom of our intuition, we can emerge from this transit feeling lighter, more whole, and ready to embrace new beginnings.

Summary 

A Libra Full Moon usually focuses on relationships, but this one lands in the introspective 12th house. This Full Moon encourages us to look inward and examine how subconscious thoughts and past experiences might be affecting our connections with others. By understanding these hidden influences, we can achieve inner peace and build stronger, more balanced relationships. The 12th house also promotes intuition and creativity, making this a good time for self-reflection and artistic expression.

- Carolina Dean 

Saturday, March 23, 2024

Unveiling a Treasure Trove of Vintage Books!

 

Greetings, fellow bookworms and mystics! For those of you who haven't stumbled upon my hidden lair yet, I'm thrilled to announce that I have an Etsy shop, 12th House Books, brimming with rare and vintage finds! Explore forgotten wisdom through books from the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, and beyond at 12th House Books

Every week, I embark on a delightful thrifting adventure, scouring for hidden gems related to astrology, crystals, herbs, healing, dreams, divination, magic, witchcraft, and shamanism. To fuel your mystical pursuits further, I also offer downloadable PDFs on a variety of these topics! And the latest additions to my shop? A selection of astrological and tarot readings, ready to guide you on your unique path.

But wait, there's more! Through my tireless thrifting escapades, I've fostered wonderful relationships with the amazing staff at my local stores. They've become friendly allies, keeping an eye out for intriguing donations that resonate with my collection.

Speaking of intriguing finds, brace yourselves! This past week, I unearthed a motherlode – over 60 captivating vintage books, all at once! Needless to say, it took a delightful few days to meticulously sort through this treasure and bring them to life in my Etsy shop. Stay tuned, because a comprehensive list of these recently added titles is coming your way right after this...

  • Appleby, Derek. (1985). Horary Astrology.
  • Arroyo, Stephen. (1996). Exploring Jupiter.
  • Arroyo, Stephen & Green, Liz. (1984). The Jupiter / Saturn Conference Lectures.
  • Bennett, Judith. (1980). Sex Signs.
  • Bogart, Gregory C. (1994). Astrology and Spiritual Awakening.
  • Clow, Barbara Hand. (1987). Chiron, Rainbow Bridge Between the Inner & Outer Planets.
  • Cunningham, Donna. (1999). How to Read Your Astrological Chart.
  • Eakins, Pamela. (1992). Tarot of the Spirit.
  • Filbey, John. (1988). Solar and Lunar Returns.
  • Forrest, Steven & Forrest, Jodie. (1989). Skymates: The Astrology of Love, Sex, and Intimacy.
  • Green, Jeff. (1988). Uranus: Freedom from the Known.
  • Hall, Judy. (2003). The Crystal Bible Book 1 & 2 (Vols. 1 & 2).
  • Hastings, Nancy Anne. (1984). Secondary Progressions: Time to Remember.
  • Hebel, Doris. (1984). Contemporary Lectures.
  • Hebel, Doris. (1985). Celestial Psychology.
  • Hodgson, Joan. (1978). Astrology The Sacred Science.
  • Kirby, Babs & Stubbs, Janey. (1990). Interpreting Solar and Lunar Returns.
  • Kirby, Babs & Stubbs, Janey. (1992). Love & Sexuality.
  • Lewi, Grant. (1990). Astrology for Millions.
  • Lofthus, Myrna. (1983). A Spiritual Approach to Astrology.
  • Lundsted, Betty. (1980). Astrological Insights into Personality.
  • Lundsted, Betty. (1984). Planetary Cycles.
  • Lundsted, Betty. (1992). Transits of Pluto.
  • Mastro, Robin & Mastro, Michael. (2004). Altars of Power and Grace.
  • March, Marion & McEvers, Joan. (1976). The Only Way to Learn Astrology.
  • March, Marion & McEvers, Joan. (1994). The Only Way to Learn About Horary & Electional Astrology (2nd ed.).
  • Marr, Alexander. (1981). Prediction: Using Common Prenatal Cycles.
  • McEvers, Joan. (1989). Planets: The Astrological Tools.
  • Neville, E.W. (1990). Planets in Synastry.
  • Rathgeb, Marlene Masini. (1993). Sexual Astrology.
  • Rudhyar, Dane. (1972). The Astrological Houses.
  • Rudhyar, Dane. (1980). Person Centered Astrology.
  • Schulman, Martin. (1975). Karmic Astrology (Vols. 1, 2, & 3).
  • Schulman, Martin. (1984). Karmic Relationships.
  • Schulman, Martin. (1988). The Ascendant Your Karmic Doorway.
  • Spiller, Jan & McCoy, Karen. (1988). Spiritual Astrology.
  • Tomkins, Sue. (1989). Aspects in Astrology.
  • Van Gelder, Dora. (1999). The Real World of Fairies.
  • Van Toen, Donna. (1988). The Mars Book.
  • Zondag, Karen Hamaker. (1981). Jungian Symbolism and Astrology.
  • Zondag, Karen Hamaker. (2000). The Yod Book.

These remarkable books whisper tales of a fascinating past. My detective work suggests they belonged to a highly respected Seattle-based astrologer. Each volume, meticulously cared for, hints at a life dedicated to celestial exploration.

While the exact origin remains a mystery, it seems a significant chapter has closed in their astrological journey. Perhaps a well-deserved retirement, or maybe a new path has unfolded. Regardless, these books now embark on a new adventure, ready to share their wisdom with a fresh generation of seekers.

A thrill shot through me when I discovered an autographed copy of "Prediction in Astrology" by the legendary Noel Tyl! This gem, along with a few other particularly captivating finds, will occupy a place of honor on my own bookshelf. Other paper ephemera found between the pages of these wonderful books include the original owner's business card, several old bookmarks, a McDonald's  game piece from the 1988 Olympics, and sticky notes with hand-calculated positions of the the Moon and progressed planets! 

But the true magic lies within the remaining volumes. Imagine the potential for discovery! Each book holds the potential to unlock the secrets of a seasoned astrologer, their name perhaps hidden within a discreet stamp on the inside cover. Owning one of these volumes is not just acquiring a book, it's inheriting a piece of astrological history.

Carolina Dean 
Finder of Lost Books, Owner 
12th House Books

Friday, March 22, 2024

Mars in Pisces (2024)

 

Mars in Pisces 

Affirmation: I act compassionately. 
The Lesson: Channel your fiery drive into compassion, creativity, and a deeper connection to your inner world.

Interpretation 

As Mars, the fiery planet of action and assertion, traverses the dreamy waters of Pisces, a fascinating shift unfolds. His usual boldness is softened by the emotional and spiritual energy of Pisces, the sign of intuition and compassion. This celestial encounter can have a profound effect on us all.

On a collective level, a wave of empathy washes over us. People are naturally drawn to be more understanding and compassionate towards others. Conflicts may seem less important, replaced by a desire to find common ground. This can be a powerful time for diplomacy and fostering peace. The creative spark within us is also ignited by this transit. The boundaries between logic and imagination blur, allowing us to tap into a wellspring of artistic inspiration. We may find ourselves drawn to creative endeavors we've long neglected, or discover new avenues for self-expression through music, art, or writing.

Pisces' deep connection to the spiritual realm is also amplified during this time.  People may feel a renewed interest in their inner world, exploring their intuition and exploring practices like meditation or spending time in nature. This introspective journey can lead to a deeper understanding of oneself and one's place in the universe. However, not everyone experiences this transit smoothly. The heightened emotional energy of Pisces can sometimes lead to oversensitivity and emotional reactivity. It's important to be mindful of our triggers and practice healthy emotional regulation techniques during this time.

Aspects 

Mars in Pisces 7H  is making a Square to the Transit MC 9H. 

Mystic Mantra: I trust my intuition and express my desires with compassion. Focused action, guided by clear communication, brings my ambitious dreams to fruition.

This astrological configuration can certainly stir up feelings of frustration and indecisiveness. It's like having a powerful engine (Mars) revving in your garage (7th house), but the roadmap to your destination (MC) is unclear (Pisces influence on Mars) and the GPS (Gemini on MC) keeps giving conflicting directions (square aspect).  The key here isn't to slam on the brakes (suppressing the Martian energy), but rather to find a way to channel that powerful engine into a productive journey.


Here are some expanded tips to help navigate this transit:

  • Embrace the Creative Spark:  Mars in Pisces ignites a potent mix of passion and intuition. Instead of letting frustration simmer, channel this energy into creative pursuits. Take up painting, writing, or music. Explore a new artistic medium that allows you to express your emotions in a way that feels freeing.
  • Communicate with Compassion: The 7th house highlights partnerships and close relationships. Open and honest communication is crucial during this transit. However, remember that Mars in Pisces can make direct confrontation feel uncomfortable.  Express your needs and frustrations assertively, but with a dose of Piscean empathy. Consider "I" statements to frame your concerns without placing blame on others.
  • Refine, Don't Abandon Your Goals: The Gemini influence on the MC can make your professional aspirations feel scattered.  Instead of scrapping your goals entirely, take this as an opportunity to refine them.  Do some brainstorming exercises, write down your long-term vision, and then break it down into smaller, more manageable steps.  This will help you regain focus and keep that Martian engine pointed in the right direction.
  • Seek Inspiration Through Exploration: The 9th house, ruled by the Gemini MC, is all about expanding your horizons. If you're feeling stuck, consider a metaphorical (or literal) journey. Take a class online, delve into a new philosophy, or even plan a short trip.  Learning something new can spark fresh ideas and help you connect the dots between your current situation and your ultimate goals.
  • Find a Supportive Guide: Sometimes, the best way to navigate a confusing road map is to have a reliable co-pilot. Talking to a trusted mentor, therapist, or career counselor can provide valuable guidance during this transit. They can help you  identify underlying anxieties, clarify your vision, and develop a clear action plan that taps into your Martian drive without succumbing to indecisiveness.
By embracing these strategies and understanding the astrological influences at play, you can transform this potentially frustrating period into a time of growth, self-discovery, and ultimately, a more focused and fulfilling journey towards your goals.

Correspondences

  • Color: Red (Mars); Green (Pisces)
  • Metal: Iron (Mars) 
  • Tarot: The Emperor (Mars); The Moon (Pisces) 

Crystals 

  • Amethyst:  This calming crystal promotes emotional balance and clear communication, helping to navigate the tension in partnerships (7th house) and express goals effectively (MC).
  • Amazonite:  Known as the "Stone of Hope and Truth," Amazonite encourages clear thinking and soothes anxieties,  useful for overcoming indecisiveness related to the MC (Gemini) and fostering open communication in relationships (7th house).
  • Labradorite:  This stone fosters intuition and transformation, aiding in finding creative solutions (Mars in Pisces)  and adapting to unexpected challenges related to travel or education (9th house).
Herbs 
  • Chamomile:  This calming herb promotes emotional well-being and reduces tension,  helpful for navigating potential conflict in close relationships (7th house).
  • Ginkgo Biloba:  Known for its cognitive benefits, Ginkgo Biloba can enhance focus and mental clarity, aiding in overcoming scattered energy linked to the MC (Gemini).
  • Gotu Kola:  This herb supports mental clarity and nervous system health, beneficial for reducing anxiety and promoting clear thinking during a period of indecisiveness (Mars in Pisces).

Essential Oils 

  • Bergamot:This uplifting oil promotes emotional balance and reduces stress,  helpful for navigating challenges in partnerships (7th house).
  • Clary Sage:  Known for its calming and clarifying properties, Clary Sage can ease anxiety and promote clear communication,  beneficial during a period of indecisiveness (Mars in Pisces).
  • Frankincense:  This grounding oil promotes focus and mental clarity, aiding in overcoming scattered energy linked to the MC (Gemini) and fostering clear decision-making.


- Carolina Dean 

Tuesday, March 19, 2024

The Sun in Aries (2024)

 


Sun in Aries


  • Affirmation: I am confident ! 
  • The Lesson: The lesson of the transit Sun in Aries is to boldly claim your individuality and initiate your own path
Interpretation 

Spring has sprung in the astrological world! As the Sun ignites the fiery sign of Aries, a surge of vibrant energy crackles through the zodiac. People are pulsating with boldness – ready to take on challenges and conquer new horizons. This is a prime time to dust off that dream project you’ve been contemplating or champion a cause you believe in.

Enthusiasm runs high under the Aries influence. You might find yourself naturally attracted to competition and rising to meet any challenge head-on. This go-getter spirit is contagious, and you’ll likely inspire others with your infectious zeal.

However, Aries’ fiery nature can be a double-edged sword. Impatience can creep in, urging you to rush through things without proper planning. That “just do it” attitude, while admirable, can lead to impulsive decisions that might backfire later. Remember, even the mightiest ram needs a steady course to reach its destination.

The key to harnessing this potent Aries energy is to find a balance. Embrace your pioneering spirit and take charge, but channel your enthusiasm strategically. Break down your goals into manageable steps and prioritize ruthlessly. By strategically focusing your abundant energy, you can turn your Aries-fueled drive into unstoppable momentum and make significant progress on those new beginnings.  

The Seventh House 

The Sun is transiting the seventh house of relationships in this chart.  With the Sun traversing the 7th house of relationships in Aries, people may experience a surge of energy in their partnerships. This can manifest as a craving for excitement and a desire for more independence, both within themselves and from their partner. They might find themselves drawn to others who exude these qualities, seeking a dynamic and stimulating connection. 

While this influx of energy can be invigorating, it's crucial to be mindful of Aries' inherent assertiveness. Open communication is key during this transit. By expressing their needs and desires clearly, while also being receptive to their partner's, they can navigate this period and ensure a balanced dynamic within the relationship.

Aspects 

In this chart the transit Sun in Aries and the 7th house is conjunct Neptune in Pisces and the 6th House and sextile Pluto in Aquarius and the 5th house 

This aspect ignites a potent crucible for your relationships. The Sun's fiery presence in the 7th house throws a spotlight on partnerships, stirring a deep yearning for connection and a spark of independent spirit within existing bonds. However, Neptune's dreamy influence, residing in the 6th house of daily routines, can cast a rose-colored filter. There's a potential to be swept away by idealized visions of your partner, overlooking potential issues in your pursuit of a fairytale romance. This can even disrupt your work and daily habits as your focus shifts towards finding "the one."

Yet, amidst this potential confusion lies an opportunity for profound transformation. The sextile between the Sun and Pluto in Aquarius acts as a bridge. Pluto, residing in the 5th house of creativity and self-expression, awakens a potent energy for passionate pursuits. This passionate energy can be channeled into creative endeavors, igniting a fire within you that can then be brought to your relationship. Herein lies the key. By embracing your authentic passions and expressing them fully, you can foster a deeper, more genuine connection with your partner. This shared exploration and transformation can strengthen your bond and create a more fulfilling partnership.

Ultimately, this transit is a potent invitation to delve into the world of relationships. It's a time to be both assertive and open-minded. Acknowledge the risk of getting carried away by idealized versions of your partner, yet embrace the profound opportunity for transformation that lies within. By channeling this passionate energy towards self-expression and shared exploration, you can unlock a deeper level of connection and create a truly remarkable partnership.

Magical Correspondences 

  • Affirmation: I am a radiant force of independence, attracting harmonious partnerships that fuel my creative fire. With unwavering determination, I navigate life's challenges with inspired action.
  • Mystic Mantra: With open eyes, I embrace passion's fire. Authenticity ignites, transforming desire.
  • The Lesson: Find a balance between your assertive nature and a more empathetic approach in relationships. It's also a time to tap into your creative power for personal growth and transformation.
  • Colors: Yellow (the Sun); Red (Aries) 
  • Tarot Cards: The Sun (Sun and Aries) 
  • Element: Fire (Aries) 

Crystals

  • Carnelian - Aries is a fire sign known for its passion and drive. Carnelian is a fire element crystal that can amplify these traits while also promoting courage, confidence, and creativity. It can be a great stone to carry during this transit to help you take initiative and assert yourself in your relationships.
  • Amethyst - Neptune in Pisces can bring idealism and a desire for deep connection. Amethyst, a water element crystal, can help navigate these emotional waters by promoting intuition, peace, and spiritual awareness. It can also be helpful for letting go of unrealistic expectations in relationships.
  • Clear Quartz - Pluto in Aquarius encourages transformation and innovation. Clear quartz, a universal crystal, can amplify this energy by promoting clarity, focus, and a willingness to embrace change. It can be a powerful tool for personal growth during this transit.
Herbs 

  • Ginkgo Biloba - Ginkgo Biloba is an herb known for its cognitive benefits. It can be helpful during this transit to improve focus and communication, which can be especially important in partnerships.
  • Lavender - Lavender is a calming herb that can help to ease anxiety and promote emotional balance. This can be helpful during the more idealistic or confusing aspects of the Sun conjunct Neptune transit.
  • Hawthorn Berry - Hawthorn berry is a heart health tonic that can also promote emotional well-being. It can be helpful during this transit to strengthen your capacity for love and compassion in your relationships.
Essential Oils 

  • Lemon - Lemon essential oil is uplifting and invigorating, which can be helpful for the energetic and assertive nature of Sun in Aries. It can also promote clear thinking and communication.
  • Frankincense - Frankincense essential oil is known for its grounding and calming properties. It can be helpful during the more dreamy or idealistic aspects of the Sun conjunct Neptune transit.
  • Ylang Ylang - Ylang Ylang essential oil is known for its balancing and aphrodisiac properties. It can be helpful during this transit to promote harmony and connection in your relationships.
How to Use these Correspondences

Think of these correspondences as a list of ingredients you have in your magical cabinet. You can choose as little or as many as you would like to make something magical. Gather these together on your altar in an aesthetically pleasing manner. 

For example, you might Anoint a yellow (the sun) candle (Aries Fire) with Lemon Essential Oil and place this inside a circle of lavender flowers with a carnelian next to the candle. You might further decorate your altar with the Sun Card from the Tarot Pack to act as a sort of Prayer Card. You might then light the candle and mediate on the Mystic Mantra or Affirmation while holding the card and then place it under the candle until it burns out. 

Later, you might gather these correspondences into a little mojo bag and carry them as you focus on the lesson of the Sun in Aries and the 7th House until the Sun transits into the next sign in approximately 30 days. 

- Carolina Dean 

Friday, March 1, 2024

March 2024 Employee of the Month: Ghost

 

Hey everyone,

Get ready to be charmed! This month, we're thrilled to announce Ghost, our furry friend from the shipping department, as our Employee of the Month!

Ghost isn't your average employee. Sure, his dedication to his work is top-notch (treats are always delivered on time!), but it's his infectious enthusiasm that truly sets him apart. We all know the feeling of a bad day melting away after a good dose of puppy love, and Ghost's sloppy kisses are the ultimate stress reliever.

As our Shipping Manager, when he's not licking his package he's licking YOURS! A game of fetch turns into an Olympic-worthy competition, mail carriers become his arch-nemesis in a daily game of chase, and late nights are spent guarding the house against the ever-present threat of... well, seemingly nothing at all (but hey, someone's gotta do it!).

But Ghost's talents extend far beyond the realm of chew toys and belly rubs. This literary canine is also an aspiring writer, currently hard at work on his magnum opus, a scratch-and-sniff masterpiece titled "Bitches of Bellingham." We can't wait to see this tail-wagging tell-all hit the shelves this Fall!

Congratulations, Ghost! You're a true asset to the 12th House Books family, and we can't wait to see what adventures (and literary masterpieces) await you next.

- Carolina Dean

Owner and Operator 12th House Books

Monday, June 12, 2023

This Boise Life

 

Keanu Reeves and River Phoenix in My Own Private Idaho (1991) 

My Own Private Idaho is a 1991 film written and directed by Gus Van Sant. The story follows Mike Waters (Phoenix) and Scott Favor (Reeves) as they navigate their lives as male sex workers over the course of several months. For Mike, hustling is both a necessity in order to survive on the streets as well as a means to finance his search for his mother.  Although it is never explicitly stated, Mike is clearly gay and lives a lonely life. His search for his mother represents his desire for a connection, for a home, and a family. 

On the other hand, Scott is the son of the mayor of Portland, Oregon who "only has sex with men for money" and who claims that he will inherit a fortune on his 21st birthday and retire from hustling. He comes from a place of privilege and his hustling seems to be more about rebelling against his family and hurting his father. 

Their journey of personal discovery takes them from Seattle, to Idaho (Mike's hometown), Portland, and even Rome. 

This film is one that is difficult for me to watch, even today. I was just 17 when this movie premiered in the September of 1991 and struggling with coming out to my family and friends, so I was close in age to the characters in this film and lived with the fear of being thrown out on the streets for being gay. One reason this film is so difficult for me to watch is due to a scene about the middle of the film. It takes place between Mike and Scott late at night under a full moon as they sit by a fire. 



a fireside chat between friends

Mike: I’d like to talk with you. I mean I’d like to really talk with you. We’re talking right now, but, you know… I don’t know. I don’t feel like I can be close to you. I mean we’re close. Right now we’re close… but, I mean…

Scott: How close?


Mike: I don’t know… whatever. 

Scott: What?

Mike: What do I mean to you? 

Scott: What do you mean to me? Mike you’re my best friend.

Mike: I know. I know I’m your friend. We’re good friends, and it’s good to be, you know, good friends. That’s a good thing. 

Scott: So? 

Mike: So, I just… that’s okay. We can be friends. 

Scott: I’d only have sex with a guy for money. 

Mike: Yeah, I know. 

Scott: And two guys can’t love each other. 

Mike: Yeah, well, I don’t know. I mean, for me, I could love someone even if I, you know, wasn’t paid for it. I love you and you don’t pay me. 

Scott: Mike…

Mike: I really wanna kiss you man.  

This whole scene was beyond heartbreaking. Mike allowed himself to be vulnerable and express his feelings only to be rejected. This is a situation that I am sure many of us have found ourselves in and unfortunately one that I found myself in only a few years later. It hurt me and I let that hurt fester inside me for a very long time. In truth, it still affects me 30 years later as it is very difficult for me to allow myself to be vulnerable with not only potential lovers but people in general.  As a community we like to think that we've come a long way since the 1990's but in today's hook up culture I find myself asking "can two men [really] love one another"

- Carolina Dean 



Thursday, June 8, 2023

Being and Bosom Buddies

 

Peter Scolari and Tom Hanks star in Bosom Buddies on ABC 

In an earlier entry in this blog series, I wrote about Jack Tripper of Three's Company (1977). Jack was a heterosexual man who had to pretend to be gay in order to share an apartment with two women in Santa Monica in the mid to late 1970's.  Today I would like to share with you the story of Henry and Kip -  two heterosexual men living in New York City in the 1980's, who had to pretend to be women in order to have affordable housing. 

Bosom Buddies aired on ABC from March 1980 to November 1982 lasting just two seasons. It was a sitcom in the buddy comedy genre that starred Tom Hanks as Kip Wilson (Buffy) and Peter Scolari as Henry Desmond (Hildegard). Kip and Henry worked at an advertising agency as a graphic artists and a copywriter respectively. In the pilot episode, their apartment is demolished (while they slept) and they are left with no other choice but to dress as women in order to rent an apartment at the Susan B. Anthony Hotel - a cheap apartment building exclusively for women. In addition to allowing them to have a place to live, the men also thought that the experience would make a great book. 

A typical episode revolves around the men navigating both their personal and professional lives while maintaining their secret. In the second season, the men open their own advertising agency and most of the principle characters discover that the women are actually men and so the drag elements of Bosom Buddies was downplayed. 

I vividly recall being a child playing Pong on a little black and white tv while my parents watched an episode of Bosom Buddies on the larger family tv in the living room. Even as a six year old I thought it far stranger that men were not allowed to live in the same building as women. However, having since done some research I learned that this was actually a very common practice from the 1920s to the 1970's as a mean by society to protect a woman's virtue (i.e. control them). In the early days of these "Women's Hotels", there were strict rules that residents had to follow which included mandatory prayer and bans on male visitors. 

Interestingly, the show never did a gay episode and the men's sexuality was never questioned. However, in the 11th episode of season one Henry and Kip (dressed as women) prevent a robbery and end up on tv. Henry's mother having seen the news clip recognizes her son and comes for a visit prompting Henry to have to explain to his mother why he is dressing as a woman. The conversation between Henry and his mother plays out much like a coming out experience with mother and child learning that it doesn't matter what other people think or if they don't understand your decisions. A sentiment which echoes the show's theme song (see link below) "My Life" by Billy Joel. 



Links 


Tuesday, June 6, 2023

Profiles in Courage: Beverly Lasalle

 


Beverly Lasalle was a female impersonator / entertainer, played by Lori Shannon (1938-1984) who appeared on three episodes of the controversial 1970's era sitcom All in the Family. They were 

  • Archie the Hero 
  • Beverly Rides Again 
  • Edith's Crisis of Faith, Part 1  
In her first appearance (Archie the Hero) Beverly passes out while a passenger in Archie's cab. Archie's performs CPR on Beverly to save her life and the incident is subsequently picked up by the media. Archie is humiliated when it is revealed that Beverly is actually a man in drag. Sympathetic to Archie's feelings and not wanting him to suffer any public humiliation, Beverly explains that Archie did not give her CPR. 

Beverly returns to the Bunker household a year later to celebrate Archie's "kiss of life" and invites Archie and Edith out to dinner. At first Archie resists but then he sees the opportunity to get revenge on his friend Pinky who is known for his practical jokes. Archie intends to set Pinky up with Beverly and then reveal that he is a man. However, Archie is unaware that Pinky knows that Beverly is a man which ruins the prank. Archie ultimately gets his revenge at the end of the episode when Pink's girlfriend shows up and catches him on a "date" with a man. 

In her final appearance on All in the Family, Beverly (dressed as a man) visits the Bunkers to let them know that she will be playing a show at Carnegie Hall after Christmas. Mike, Archie's son-in-law, offers to walk Beverly to a cab as he is on the way to buy a new star for the Bunker's Christmas tree. However, on the street Mike and Beverly are mistaken for a gay couple and are attacked by muggers. Beverly positions herself in between the attackers and Mike taking the burnt of the attack. She is beaten with a lead pipe that ultimately results in her death and Mike escaping with minor injuries. 

As a result of Beverly's senseless death, Edith experiences a crisis of faith and stops attending church. By the end of the following episode Edith comes to terms with Beverly's death and is grateful for having known her. 


- Carolina Dean 

Saturday, June 3, 2023

Ode to Billy Joe

 

"It was the third of June another sleepy, dusty, delta day...." 


Ode to Billy Joe was a song written and performed by Bobbie Gentry in 1967. It tells the story of a young woman (the narrator) who unexpectedly learns that a local boy she knows named Billy Joe McAllister has committed suicide by jumping off the Tallahatchie Bridge. The haunting lyrics tells the story as a series of actions devoid of emotion but does not explain why Billy Joe killed himself  nor does it explain the nature of the narrator's relationship with him. However, the song hints that the two young people share a secret in that they were seen throwing something off the bridge prior to Billy Joe's suicide. Exactly what they threw off the bridge has been left open to interpretation, however, some folks speculate Billy Joe got the girl pregnant and they threw the pre-mature baby off the bridge. 

In 1976 Ode to Billy Joe was made into a film starring Robby Benson and directed by Max Baer Jr (Jethro Bodine from the Beverly Hillbillies). The movie is set in 1953 and tells the story from the perspective of a 15 year old young woman now named Bobbie Lee Hartley. The film clearly shows an attraction between Billy Joe and Bobbie Lee. They wanted to get married but Bobbie Lee's father felt that she was too young. However, there are other obstacles in that we learn that Billy Joe was sexually abuse by his older brother and due to this abuse he became sexually confused. In one instance, he is coerced into seeing a prostitute but is unable to go through with the act. When Bobby Lee offers herself to him sexually and romantically, Billy Joe admits that he has had sex with a man and even though he was drunk and knew it was wrong, he still wanted to do it and in addition he carries the weight of shame over his homosexual experiences. At this point, as in the tie in novel of the same name, Bobbie Lee throws her rag doll off the bridge which some believe represents the last of her childlike innocence thus becoming a mature adult. 

With many people believing that Billy Joe killed himself because he has gotten Bobbie Lee pregnant. she is encouraged to leave town and quietly get an abortion. Rather than tell the truth that she and Billy Joe never had sex, she decided to leave town and let people believe what they will. On her way to meet her bus, Bobbie Lee is met by Dewey Barksdale who was Billy Joe's boss at the saw mill. He was also the man that Billy Joe had sex with. Dewey offers to go back to town and tell everyone the truth, however, Bobbie Lee advises him to keep his story to himself as it would further tarnish Billy Joe's reputation and also ruin Dewey's life as it would leave him open to criminal prosecution. The film ends with Barksdale agreeing to keep his secret and offering Bobbie Lee a ride to the bus station to which she agrees. 

I think that Billy Joe's story is important because it tells us about the dangers of sexual shame, guilt, homophobia, and gossip, as well as the importance of representation and having allies in our community.  I identified with Billy Joe in that I grew up and came of age in a small town in the South. The only other gay people I knew was an old man (formed teacher) who was said to have gotten another man drunk and "corn holed" him. The other gay man I knew of was a morbidly obese ex janitor at my elementary school who had a reputation for providing vulnerable young men with drugs in exchange for sex. 

I didn't want to have anything to do with either of these men, nor did I want to be anything like them. I carried a lot of shame around my sexual wants and desires and even considered suicide at one point in my life before I found my confidence and decided to live my life openly. However, that did not happen overnight. It was a long process of self acceptance and finding other people like me and other people who understood me. In another time (and place) Billy Joe would have seen other people like himself, he would have had other men like himself and understanding friends to talk to about his feelings and experiences. He would have had the opportunity to realize that his feelings and desires were normal and valid for him. 

Even though Billy Joe is a fictional character, he represents a sad segment of our community. Those young men (and women) driven to suicide by bullying, harassment, and the weight of self-hate engendered in them by those who cannot and will not understand or tolerate them. Ode to Billy Joe took place in 1953 and 70 years later the culture of LGBTQ+ hate and intolerance is still going strong in the Trump/DeSantis era and one which we must continue to fight to overcome to prevent future loss of life, happiness, and freedom. 

- Carolina Dean